A Wish To Grab Happiness – Volume 2 – Chapter 34

Chapter 34: The Lead Filaret La Volgograd

“That was a very foolish action…

What would happen if a person gets surrounded by flames? Moreover, he was the one that triggered the fuel. It was logical, even children would understand what would happen this foolish scenario. Naturally, that person would perish.

Of course, the ultimate result would be his death. Yet, it wouldn’t be an instant death. The whole body would burn, the internal organs would boil with heat, and he would be unable to breathe. He would die with the worst possible pain. Yes, very foolish. Even children would’ve known this. The men that held us captive were in distress. Even they knew that fire could be that dangerous. Even so, why he did this…

…why did he do this much and risk his life?

I didn’t understand. I really didn’t understand the reason why. We weren’t close. I, Filaret La Volgograd, never treated him as my friend. Neither did him. I was a mediocre person. I had no power. So, it was unimaginable to think that he did this foolish action just for my sake.”

Confusing thoughts swirled insanely through Filaret’s mind.

Filaret was considered mediocre within the Volgograd family.

The Volgograd family was a famous household of sorcerers. No member that bore the family name was allowed to be an ordinary person. They were talented geniuses that belonged to a distinguished bloodline. Their education was strict but surrounded with privileges. They grew up in the best of all environments. To be considered mediocre by their standards meant that a person lacked the qualities of a sorcerer. A failure. A poor product. Wicked.

She wasn’t truly like that. Yet, she was regarded as mediocre. A wicked and useless person. She never stood out on her own. She wasn’t able to get rid of that nomenclature.

“Ah, since when. Since when it all started?” Filaret had no idea when she started to realize that she had no talents. She had no early memories of it. But, she remembered the feelings from that time. She felt despair and frustration many times over her failed experiments.

She wouldn’t be able to live in the Volgograd household if she remained mediocre. So, she managed to trick others to think that she had some sort of problem or disease. She did that to hide her lack of talents. A sickness that didn’t allow her to display her brilliant qualities.

Although she worked harder than anyone else did, all her efforts went to waste. They never bloomed, and she was never rewarded for her efforts. It was insufficient even if she devoted herself entirely to witchcraft.

A sorcerer was a person who knew the laws of harmony in nature. A sorcerer was also a person who could rewrite the structures of this world by enchanting philosophical techniques.

Therefore, her efforts were commendable. But, the results were small. Filaret suffered from her own misery. She couldn’t do what the other sorcerers were capable of doing. Her powers were shortsighted. She gave all of herself, all of her efforts, for nothing. It didn’t amount for anything.

…Filaret thought the following. “The others in my family were like gold, talented. Yet, I couldn’t be like gold. I was a lead (metal), and nothing more. That’s why I worked harder than anyone else to become someone worthy.”

That’s why she sought difficult tasks. As a Volgograd, she would chant continuously to try and earn the title of a sorcery master.

However, that was an almost impossible magical task to accomplish. A conceptual idea that blew away any sort of reason. There weren’t any precedents… The world never saw an untalented person become a sorcery master. It could be a path of delusion. Her childhood was engulfed by failures and fear. It was a fact, not mere conjecture.

Everyone outside of her family also called her an imposter, an oddity, and a swindler. Filaret was ridiculed constantly. She felt “hatred” from a very young age.

That didn’t change even after she enrolled in the prestigious institute in Garoua Maria. Even though she enjoyed some privileges because of her parent’s house, she couldn’t distance herself from the prejudice of other people.

She was an outsider and the failure of the Volgograd family. Many people avoided contact with Filaret. It was only Helot Stanley who remained close to her.

“…Ah, that man. So, he was what people would call a gold person.”

It wasn’t all about a strong presence. He had the ability to attract other people. He was skilled and learnt everything brilliantly. Ah, such frustration. How much she wanted that talent of his. How could she gain all of that?

Dazzling. Yes, his existence was too dazzling. One could burn the eyes if they stared directly at him for too long. However, that was a good reason to follow him. To stand by his side.

It was a gamble. To be with him was a choice. But, it was a choice that could provide an opportunity to shine, or maybe not. But, it was the only prospect she had. What else could she do if she wasn’t blessed with any skill whatsoever?

*slashing sound*

A neck was cut and the robust soldier was beheaded on the spot. In front of the body, stood a man. A different man. The adventurer called Lugis. He didn’t waver. The place where they held us as prisoners was engulfed with flames. It was this man’s idea. An idea that also exposed his body and his life. He went face to face with death.

It was strange. An unbelievable occurrence. Filaret shook her dark hair and touched her eyes repeatedly. She couldn’t believe what was happening. But, everything was real. Lugis was about to be exposed by the scorching fire.

“…He was supposed to be just like me.”

The human being in front of her should’ve been an ordinary person. He wasn’t a genius. There were traces of anguish on his demeanor. A similar emotion that she felt on her skin before. She thought the following. “He was like me”. Or so she thought.

Why did he risk so much for this? He didn’t have to work that hard. Giving up wasn’t that bad. Difficult tasks should be entrusted to geniuses. Ordinary people just had to keep living with their heads held down.

Death. Ordinary people could die by acting unreasonable. They mustn’t try too hard. Downfall could be the price to pay when ordinary people chased after talent and recognition.

“Ah. Yes, I don’t like it. I hate it. I absolutely hated it”.

She kept saying to herself. “He wouldn’t have to do that if I was able to enchant my magic”. There was definitely a better way than doing that risky move. Because, in the end, he could die from his own actions.

“…I, Filaret La Volgograd, couldn’t let that happen. It would be my responsibility if he died”.

She continued. “I couldn’t consent this. Such results were unacceptable. The worst emotion that my mind could feel was regret”.

Yes, he was definitely an ordinary person. Probably what the world would describe as lead or copper. Even so. How could the world describe such person when he tried to risk his own life in order to save mine?

That man, Lugis, was doing his best. And yet, this world tried to give him a pitiful ending.

“Don’t joke with me. This was outrageous. I was like that man. Yes, an ordinary person like him but one that wanted to live even if he wasn’t like gold. To fight against the prejudice of this rotten world”.

“…I shall make us like gold myself. Even if we had to rewrite the ways of this world”.

Filaret’s spirit twisted back. The anger against the people and the world they lived in was manifested through her determination. It was enough. Yes, enough of being beaten, trampled and abandoned.

So, no more of this. Filaret’s throat emitted a sound. The surroundings were burning with fire and some of the guards tried to extinguish that fire by using buckets with water. But, her life was not safe as long as she remained inside the blazing room.

However, Filaret didn’t move an inch. She had little desire to run away. She thought. “I won’t lose someone’s life because of my incompetence. Rather than saving my own skin, I would rather try to save the one who risked his life for mine. There was no way that I’ll let a human die in front of my eyes. I absolutely won’t”.

Her body was overheated and the throat was dry. She wished for something more, a power within her. To use everything that she got even if it was just a little talent. This was the moment. The only way to escape from this hell. To escape from the flames, and from the hatred of this world. In Filaret’s eyes, Lugis still held the sword surrounded by fire. The field of vision gradually disappeared. Everything was filled with distortion, except the one that truly mattered. The walls, the floor, the other soldiers, even the flames were distorted on her eyesight. Only Lugis was visible.

“…Hopefully, a windstorm will extinguish the fire that burns his body”.

It was a ritual of magic, and not a mere enchantment. It was called the Sorcerer’s Breath. That magic was invoked with deep feelings. The ultimate desire to rewrite the ways of the cruel world.

Filaret ordered the entire body of Lugis to be covered by a windstorm and attack the fire burning his entire body. The magic was so powerful that it could attack Lugis as well. But, it was the only way to keep the fire away from him, and to alleviate the scorching flames inside the room. Under normal circumstances, the flames combined with the windstorm would rip the body apart. Blood would be splashed mercilessly, without leaving any traces of a living being. The power of the infinitesimal windstorm.

Nonetheless, there was no way that she’ll allow that. Filaret wouldn’t dare to hurt Lugis. She promised not to. She made an oath with him before coming to the underground temple.

“…I swore that my magic would never hurt Lugis, ever”.

Her breathing was hard, and her heartbeat couldn’t even be heard on the midst of that pressure. The flow of magic didn’t stop. The eyes didn’t blink, but the hands shook tremendously. Filaret didn’t know if she was sane or crazy anymore.

Nevertheless, she did her best not to be distracted with external factors. Her eyes were extremely focused on that person. She never blinked or diverted her eyes. She vowed to herself not to be defeated, but to prevail until the very end.

Her magical powers continued fervently. She went to the boundaries of her limit in order to succeed. Then her magical power stopped and everything became clearer, Lugis lost his consciousness and fell down.

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At my new house… there’s a cat here as well… goddamit stop following me cats!!


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4 replies

  1. So it wasn’t love from Filaret, but envy for geniuses. The author is really subtle.

    Reminds me of a series called Chikyuu Tenseisha no Koroshikata where harem members were forced to act a certain way due to fate by gods that the MC also an anti-hero in that series broke to free them. One of the girls there was forced to stay indefinitely as a petite young girl, then once her destiny was crushed she grew rapidly into a young woman. Other girls follow a similar pattern where their individual growth is stunted purposely by fate of hero.

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