Chapter 24: A Named Emotion
Helot Stanley. The light of salvation from the future. This person was also called a hero.
It was unbelievable to meet him here. I looked sharply at him and I saw no abnormality. He had a humble expression and gentle eyes. To be honest, he looked basically the same. He had a youthful look in the future, and that was more obvious in the past. Besides that, his eyes reflected a certain brilliance of wisdom.
The sun. Yes, the sun could be the appropriate word to describe him. He gave comfort and warmth to all the people who he met and saved. But, he also gave an impression of a burning sun because he was unwavering and formidable. The mighty son of the sun.
「…Hey, what’s up with you. Is my hair color that strange to you? 」
On the other hand. I could say that girl resembled the moon because she always stood by his side.
Filaret la Volgograd. The Sorceress. She was a member of the Hero Party on the rescue journey. In the future, she’ll be responsible for a revolution in the history of witchcraft. A person who will be recognized for her achievements in the Reformation era.
She tied her glossy black hair on her back. Her deep eyes showed a distinctive layer of profound wisdom. I would dare say that her appearance was unique. She had a foreign appearance. Because of her unique charm, she often created a freshly and exciting atmosphere for those around her. Sometimes, I thought that her attractive demeanor was very different from Caria’s looks.
But, at the same time that atmosphere was not welcoming for people like me. I was often pushed away in the rescue journey. It was as if there was a wall between them and me. The Hero, Helot Stanley could be part of that, but I couldn’t. I felt a huge repulsion against him at this moment. However, perhaps they didn’t have a long and deep relationship at this point in time as opposed to their close interactions in the future. Either way, I will never forget how everyone put a “wall” against me from all directions as if they were acupuncture needles.
I see. Still, they looked good together. I bit my tongue involuntarily.
Filaret was too bright to be the moon. But, she wouldn’t be able to be the sun since she stood by Helot Stanley all the time. There was no way she’ll replace him, the true sun. Nevertheless, no one could deny they were a perfect match.
…Even so, I couldn’t stop my nauseating feelings against them.
It seemed like a poisonous blood circulated all over my body. It was as if the guard of hell was calling for my life.
Caria pushed me aside and walked further ahead. Filaret noticed that she held a parchment on her hands and took it away from her. All of us looked a bit puzzled with that. I wondered if she was curious about us or just wanted to tease us with something. Her staring eyes bothered me.
Then, Filaret raised her mouth and laughed as if she was mocking us.
「Oh my, what’s up with this kind of request? I never thought that someone would make a request with this material in the first place.」
Her words were provocative. She made it seem as if she was picking up a fight with other people. Her statements were quite different from the harsh words of the former Caria Burdnick. It didn’t matter how strong or weak the Sorceress was. Wisdom was what mattered to her. She had wisdom to distinguish the bad from the good. Her decisions were always met with great expectations. She was always very accurate with everything and everybody. Of course, I didn’t have a natural talent for wisdom. But I gained something far greater when I returned to the past. What I had now was knowledge. It was something that she couldn’t surpass with her wisdom.
Caria and Helot Stanley stared at her with surprising looks. They were stunned because of her bold statements. It was natural. We just met each other for the first time on this timeline, and she made a provoking action as soon as she saw our faces. On that moment, only one of us had the nerve to speak back. And with piercing eyes, the following words were spoken.
「…I beg your pardon? Are you implying that we did something wrong? We came all the way here to give that request form to this Guild. Is there anything wrong with that?」
「Ah, well. We’re sorry. Miss Filaret has a tendency of talking with other people in a bold manner. Everything is fine with me. I apologize on her behalf.」
Helot Stanley spoke to avoid some serious misunderstanding. He looked directly into my eyes. Yes. This was Helot Stanley. I knew he was not the one I hated so much in the future. But, even so, I tried to hold back my resentment towards him as I gripped my teeth intensely.
However, Filaret spoke as if something muddy was stuck to her own heart.
「Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. But, I won’t be taken as fool, you know. 」
She spoke harshly to Helot Stanley, who had to intervene on her behalf. She continued to speak.
「This parchment. Did you hired someone old-fashioned to make a request form using this rotten material? A request form has be presented to the Guild written in a papyrus. If not, then, a verbally form should be the second option.」
I was getting stressed by just looking at that girl. Yet, Caria put her hand on my shoulder to hold me down. She probably thought that my words could backfire on us. I just sighed in annoyance.
But, I was not the only one who sighed. That disrespectful girl also sighed at us.
「You had the trouble to make your request form in a parchment. How naive. Nobody will take you seriously. This must be the first time that ignorant young lady has made a request.」
While Caria was someone who killed with her sword, Filaret la Volgograd was a person who killed with her words and wisdom. I remembered that once Helot Stanley spoke something peculiar at dinner table. He said that Filaret made her first request in a parchment.
Filaret looked at us as if we were ignorant. But, my knowledge told me otherwise. How hypocritical could she be when she used a parchment herself once? It was easy for her to show some ruthless superiority to someone who was not an adventurer yet.
The scornful eyes…I see. This has turned into a difficult and shameful situation. I wondered if newly appointed adventurers gave up immediately after experiencing a similar situation with her. It was extremely rude to take something from other people without asking permission. Her curiosity knew no bounds.
She held our parchment and didn’t return it back. When I scratched my chin, some infuriating feelings ran through my spine. Like Caria, I didn’t want to start some meaningless trouble just as we arrived on this city. Therefore, we just stood firm with unwavering eyes.
「I recognize that we were immature on using the parchment. I understand very well why you pointed it out to us. However…You don’t have the right to ridicule her with that. I would like you to return the request form back to us.」
Helot Stanley took the parchment from her. His grip looked a bit too strong. It looked like iron itself. As long as he didn’t tear the parchment apart…
My blood were boiling again. This man. A man with great spirits. The people greatly respected Helot Stanley for his loving heart and for his strong mind. That’s right. Those two elements were the perfect combination to attract the crowds. He definitely stood out among all of us in the Party. Yeah, that was something I was very aware of. It was unpleasant. Yes, very unpleasant.
I truly wanted to avoid having him as a partner once again. And Filaret la Volgograd as well. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again on this timeline. After all, I tried to be indifferent when I met Caria but I failed on that. So, here I was.
Like Caria, Filaret la Volgograd never bullied me directly. But she treated me coldly.
She would not listen to my opinions. And probably forgot about my existence several times. I never did something wrong to her though. However, for her, perhaps, I was not a real member of the Party. She probably viewed me as some errand boy. At least, she had warm contact with the other members of the Party.
Of course, that was somewhat natural, I suppose. I was just the person who did the odd jobs and chores for all of them. I didn’t have the strength of Caria Burdnick, neither the wisdom of Filaret la Volgograd.
That’s why I judge people with duality. I thought everyone had two-faces. My heart was always cold when meeting other people. I was constantly wary and suspicious of others around me. No wonder, I didn’t have many friends.
She was cold to me, but on the other hand, she was amazingly cheerful around Helot Stanley. She behaved as someone who listened to other people’s words. I guess I was invisible to her, or maybe she looked at me as if she was staring at a piece of trash.
Compared to her treatment, Caria’s cold treatment towards me might have been better. None was fine, of course. But, to Filaret la Volgograd, I was inexistent. While Caria was aware of my presence….though in a bad way, I suppose.
Filaret la Volgograd took the parchment from Helot Stanley again.
「I refuse. Anyways, you said this is a request form, am I right? So, I should be the one in charge of giving you a request for a mission.」
I knew them both very well. That’s why I felt both anxiety and bitterness on my heart.
That Filaret la Volgograd stood alongside Helot Stanley as she always did. It seemed like she made a bond with him during this period. It was like tracing something I’ve experience before. That terrible human being will be created once again on this world. My whole body pulsated with angst and resentment.
…Ah, it was much more than that. I felt that a new emotion was being born on my heart.
Was it jealously? No, it was much deeper and darker than that. I could hardly describe this type of emotion.
Ah, I wished that god could grant me a wish. If god gave me an opportunity to wish for something, I would chose to wipe Helot Stanley from the face of this earth. If it weren’t possible, then I would like to be the one who’s wiped out. My heart would be much calmer if god granted me one of those two possibilities.
「 We can receive your request on behalf of this Guild…with one condition.」
Her eyes were widely open and she shook her hands away from Helot Stanley. Her gaze was quite sharp. It was as if she tried to guess what I was going to say.
Filaret la Volgograd didn’t understood my true intentions. She slowly opened her mouth and said the word I expected to hear.
「 Let’s hear your condition. 」
Ah, I see. I knew how to name this feeling. It was Hatred.
I didn’t want to see him for even once second. I’d hate to see Helot Stanley take everything away from me once again. That’s why I’ll steal everything from him instead. My heart was burning with hatred.
And the hatred continues…Have a nice sunday 😉
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