Chapter 42: Orphe, the Imperial Capital
「Somebody…Somebody…Please, give me a towel!! 」
After Flasika received a towel prepared by the soldiers…
「Excuse me! 」
He placed it between the Emperor’s legs.
「Whoa…It’s wet and disgusting…Hey, my underwear…Is it okay to take it off here?」
「N…No! Please, be patient! 」
The half-naked Warlord Emperor started to cry as he displayed a runny nose.
Elle, Mash and I were hardened like stones. We were more shocked by this unbelievable situation than when we were with the demons with swords. Seiya was looking at the Emperor with his usual normal demeanor as if it was nothing special.
「Hey, Lista. Look at the Emperor’s abilities using your clairvoyance power.」
「But, we already looked at his status, right? 」
「Look at it again. 」
I focused on my special skill to look at the Emperor’s status…
Warlord Emperor Wolks Rosgard
Special skills: Aging (Lv MAX), Peeing (Lv 8), Infant Regression (Lv 9)
「What ridiculous special skills!! Since when Aging became Level Max!? 」
「Now we know why the Emperor can’t leave the Imperial Capital. 」
Soon, the Warlord Emperor stopped crying as if he forgot his crotch was wet moments ago.
「Butterfly! Butterfly! 」
He started to run around with his hands stretched to the sky. By the way, I didn’t any fly that resembled a butterfly flying around here.
…This…This was terrible…! Don’t tell me that this was a “primary nursing level”…!
During this time. The sound of horses’ hooves was heard from behind our backs. When I turned around, I saw a female knight with a familiar blue hair that approached us with a white horse.
The Emperor’s daughter Rosalie jumped immediately from her horse. Noticing her arrival, the Emperor stopped chasing butterflies and ran in Rosalie’s direction.
「Sweet Rosalie!! 」
He screamed joyfully as he embraced his daughter.
「I felt so lonely! My sweet Rosalie was gone! So, I was very, very, lonely! 」
「Father, please calm down! 」
It felt more when a stray child found his mother than the embrace of a father and daughter. Not only us, but the soldiers of the Imperial Army were also staring speechless at Rosalie and the Emperor. Rosalie noticed everyone’s gaze and she became furious.
「What are you looking at!! 」
The soldiers trembled in fear.
「People got wounded because of the battle against the demons!! There are lots of things to do!!」
The soldiers rushed like scattering spiders. We were the only ones left behind.
「You…You people were here…! 」
Of course, it was a scene that Rosalie didn’t want us to see. She had a very complex expression on her face, but she couldn’t say more as the Emperor hugged her again.
「Lovey! My sweetie Rosalie, I lovey you! 」
「Father! Please, stop it! A ghost will appear if you do that! A ghost will definitely come out!」
「Ghost!? Gh…Ghosts are…very scary!! 」
「It’s scary, right? Then, please be quiet! 」
「Yeah…I’ll be very quiet…I’m scared of ghosts…*sobs* 」
Rosalie, who noticed that Seiya was staring at the Emperor with cold eyes, yelled at him with a red face.
「Hey, you, what’s up with your eyes!? If you have something to say, just say it!!」
However, Seiya remained silent with a disgusted face. I opened my mouth instead.
「Li…Listen, Rosalie. Don’t tell me that his condition really is a “cognitive…」
As soon as I started to speak, she looked at me with a scary face that resembled an ogre.
「Don’t say it…! Don’t you dare say anything anymore…! 」
「But, you told us to speak if we had something to say!! 」
In the meantime, the Emperor ran in Seiya’s direction.
「Brother, let’s play! Play! 」
He crushed the innocent old man’s request.
「Stay away from me. 」
Seiya kicked the Emperor’s abdomen without hesitation. The Emperor rolled on the ground…
He burst out crying without stopping.
「You bastard…!! What the hell do you think you’re doing, damn you!! 」
Rosalie ran to her father. A crying father embraced his daughter.
「*sobs* That was so scary…I got myself wet again…*sobs* 」
「Yeah, okay, okay! Don’t worry, I’ll give that guy a lesson! 」
Rosalie was comforting her crying father. I approached them and I touched her shoulder slightly.
「Ex…Excuse me. But I was told by the Emperor to come to the castle. He said he had something to show me…」
「Ah!? That’s for later!! 」
「Later…How long afterwards? 」
Then, the Warlord Emperor began to chase the invisible butterflies again.
「Butterfly! Butterfly! 」
「Hey. Do something about this idiotic gramps. 」
「How…How dare you call him idiotic gramps!! Watch out your words!! 」
「Listen, Rosalie. How long will he stay like this? 」
「You’re really noisy!! Well, it will take approximately one hour…no, two hours!! Come to the Imperial Castle two hours later!! You guys will have to wait in Orphe until then!!」
After being told, Seiya started to walk away.
「Let’s do that. There’s nothing left for us here. Besides that…If we stay too long, we might get infected with stupidity.」
「You bastard!! *yells furiously* 」
「Le…Let’s go now!! 」
Elle hurried ahead and we followed her from behind. We went quickly to the Imperial Capital to escape from Rosalie’s wrath.
When we entered in Orphe, the Imperial Capital, I noticed that this city was more prosperous than any other town we’ve seen. The cobblestone streets were overflowing with old and young men and women dressed in stylish clothes. I could hear lively voices from the merchants in the shops lining the narrowed streets. It seemed that the city was in a celebratory mood. It was an undeniable fact that the Emperor defeated the last of the Four General Kings. The people regarded their Emperor as an idol. Everyone greatly praised his accomplishment in the battle even though they didn’t know the real abomination.
That’s right. Thanks to the Emperor’s efforts in defeating Eliza, the only enemy left was the Demon King himself.
…Hmm. Somehow, I felt that something was off. Maybe that was because a human from this world actually managed to overthrow the last of the Four General Kings. Well…I thought deeply about it…but maybe it was just luck…?
I noticed a sign after we walked in the city for a while. It said “BAR”. I touched Seiya’s shoulder.
「Look, look, Seiya! Can we drop by for a minute here? It looks like a nice bar.」
However, Seiya looked at me with a bored face.
「What would you do if an enemy suddenly attacked you while you drank alcohol?」
「I…I just want to enjoy a relaxing atmosphere! 」
「The bars are full of drunkards. Usually, they make mistakes. That escalates to disputes between other drunkards. Then, it becomes a fight and, eventually, someone is stabbed. For that reason I won’t go.」
…Ah. He was cautious with these ordinary things as well.
I didn’t go to the bar. Suddenly, Mash grabbed my hand.
「Lista! There’s a casino over there! 」
When I looked at the casino, I saw a Bunny Girl holding a signboard and receiving guests. Geabrande wasn’t well-developed in science and it didn’t have the glittering of neon lights. Nevertheless, the casino was a colorful-decorated building. I felt it had a gorgeous atmosphere.
Elle’s eyes were shining brightly.
「So, this is the casino! It’s the first time I’ve seen one! 」
In the fantasy world, the casino was one of those fun places for adventurers! Mash and Elle seemed to be interested as well…
I smiled at them.
「Shall we go inside for a little bit? 」
「Is that okay, Lista! 」
「We all need a distraction once in while! Look, maybe we could exchange this medal for some money.」
However. Seiya left us in front of the casino and walked away.
「He…Hey, Seiya!? Wait a second!! Don’t you want to go with us!? 」
When I shouted, Seiya looked back at me with troublesome expression and said emphatically.
「Even if the possibility of losing was just 1%, gambling itself is a bad habit.」
Ah, c’mon. How could he be this serious!!
Mash really wanted to go. So, I persistently invited Seiya go to with us.
「I wonder if we could exchange this medal for a great weapon or armor?」
What do you think! With this, Seiya will get a bit interested, won’t he?
I thought so. Still, Seiya stared at me with icy eyes.
「Lista. If you really think you can get a strong weapon that will defeat the Demon King with a mere casino prize…then, your brain is about the same size of the white ball around the roulette wheel.」
「Are you implying that my brain is that tiny!? 」
Seiya started to walk away without stopping. I could hear Elle’s voice saying 「Ah. I really wanted to go there… 」 behind my back.
I spoke with Seiya with an angry tone.
「Seiya. You won’t be punished if you relax for a little bit, you know? Both Mash and Elle really wanted to go there. So, why not?」
「If I have leisure time, then I would rather go to a weapon shop or a tool shop. Since it’s the Imperial Capital, they might sell something useful for battles.」
「We…We were supposed to do that later! But, right now… 」
Then, Seiya glared at me with icy eyes.
「You are a goddess. Why don’t you just think about this world more seriously?」
「Of…Of course, I think. But I also think that we need to relax for once in a while!」
「Absolutely. That’s why Valkyrie calls you a third-rate goddess. 」
…Ah? Why did he brought Valkyrie’s name into this conversation?
「What’s wrong with that!! I can’t win against Valkyrie anyways!! 」
「Li…Lisutan!? Calm down!! 」
Elle tried to calm me down because I was extremely angry with Seiya. He continued to walk where the wind was blowing as if nothing happened and stopped in front of a tool shop.
「What do you think, costumer! We have a limited product called “Top Herbal Medicine”!」
「I see. How is it different from ordinary medicinal herbs? 」
「The resilience is completely different! With this, you can heal any wound instantly!」
「Really? I will burn your shop if you’re lying. So, is this herb that good? 」
「Well…but why are you blackmailing me!? You are a very scary customer!! But, I’m not lying!! The resilience of this special medicinal herb amounts to three ordinary herbs, so the quality is far superior than any other medicinal herb you’d find!!」
「Hmm. Then, get me some of it. 」
As usual, I yelled at Seiya, who was trying to buy a ridiculous amount of herbs with tons of money.
「Listen, Seiya!! You can heal using my magic abilities!! You don’t need those random medicinal herbs!!」
Then, the shopkeeper got an upsetting complexion far superior than Seiya.
「What do you mean by “random medicinal herbs”? It was extremely difficult for me to purchase this Top Herbal Medicine! These herbs won’t lose against the High Priestess’ meaningless healing spells!」
I would apologize under normal circumstances. However, I was in a very bad mood.
「What! My magical abilities are more powerful than those herbs! 」
「Well then, let’s have a competition! I’ll find the perfect subject…’kay! 」
The shopkeeper found a soldier walking in the city and called him out.
「What happened to me, you ask? When the demons with swords attacked us earlier, my arms were hurt. But I don’t have money with me, so I can’t cure them…」
The shopkeeper looked at the soldier’s arms and grinned victoriously.
「This soldier has a similar injury on both arms. What do you think? Shall we compete to see who can heal this man’s arms faster? If I can get you to buy my special goods, then I will sell them for half the price!」
「Bring it on!! 」
The shopkeeper put his medicinal herbs in the soldier’s right arm! And I concentrated my healing abilities on the soldier’s left arm!
The Will of Creation that brought this universe to life!! Please give me strength!! Go!! My goddess’ power!! Burn it up!! Go!!
…After a minute.
「The Top Herbal Medicine was the quickest to heal, after all!! It doesn’t hurt anymore!! The other arm where this Lady tried to cure still has some wounds left.」
…Yes, I lost. I tried my best, but it was useless. I could not win against medicinal herbs.
The soldier was still hurt. So, Seiya looked down on me.
「…This dumb medicinal herb woman. 」
「You perfectly know that I am far better than those mere medicinal herbs, right!? You know it too well!! Because if I released my true goddess’ healing power, I wouldn’t lose against those medicinal herbs!!」
「If that’s true, then show it right now. 」
「But if I do it right now, I will be demoted immediately from working as a goddess!!」
「You are delusional as always. 」
「But…But I said it to you countless of times before!! A goddess cannot help human beings excessively.」
「Hey. Give me those special medicinal herbs. You said it was a limited product. So, give me everything you got up to the limit. 」
「Yes!! Thank you very much!! 」
After we left the tool shop…
「Why…! Why again…! Why that happens all the time…! 」
I was walking as I murmured angrily to myself. Mash noticed my anguish and spoke with me.
「Hey, Lista. Calm down. Look, Lista. We still got your special private hair!」
「This mushroom is getting on my nerves!! I am going to tear you apart, you mushroom!!」
「What dreadful words!! And you call yourself a goddess!? 」
「Ma…Mash usually says weird things sometimes! Please, forgive him, Lisutan!」
I ignored Elle’s words and continued walking ahead.
After that, Seiya went into various weapon shops. After spending a lot of time in the shops, we finally left.
Before long, I could see the Imperial Castle’s structures in the distance…
「We should go now. 」
Seiya changed direction towards the castle…My heated tension was the worst in history due to repetitive frustrations.
Lista you are indeed a third rate goddess, no doubt about it.
Thank you to the Patrons for the continued support!
thank for the update
Thanks for the update. Yeah, how can she relaxed when Geabrande is S-Rank difficult to save world?
What a mess.
But i think i relate her a bit, in tensed situations (death of familiars, misfortunes, etc) i have the habit of gaving a cheerful smile…y’know, trying to ease the situation… i know it’s wrong, but ‘cmon, it’s too tense.
And she’s basically a trainee, only 5 worlds saved, i keep thinking this is related to that world Aria coudn’t save and the hero, Isister staged everything!!!
Thanks for the chapter!!!!!
She’s just unbelievably stupid. Just counter balance to unbelievably cautious hero.
Thanks for your hard work again!!!
Man, she’s so stupid.
Seiya, a summoned person is a lot more serious about that world than Lista, goddess that’s supposedly in charge.
Her stupidity isn’t even cute one bit. It’s getting more and more annoying.
Truly third rate.
The world’s going down in flames, the emperor’s insane, the goddess in charge is clueless, the hero is indecipherable, BUT IT’S OKAY, WE HAVE PRIVATE HAIRS!
Thanks for the chapter Tomo Translations!